Do some women emasculate their men because they earn more money?

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[Drnjbmd]

I am a physician, specifically, a surgeon. I spent four years in college plus four years in medical school (8 years out of the workforce and not earning)plus another seven years in residency training (making less than minimum wage) which is a total of 15 years of study and work at minimum wage or less. At this point in my life, I have earned the right by putting in the years of study and training to earn a high wage. If my salary is emasculating to any man in this country, so be it.

Men and women in this country should not link their "self worth" to their salaries. A salary is what one earns and nothing more. I work with plenty of folks every day who scrub floors and toilets who are outstanding individuals both spiritually and morally. On the other hand, I work with plenty of my fellow physicians and surgeons that I can never trust under any circumstances.

If you set your masculinity in terms of your salary, then you will likely feel "emasculated" when you encounter a woman who has a higher salary. That's not her problem but it is "your" problem.

[deadeyes]

...have these sorts of issues.

A Man is. A Man doesn't need a modifier. Good Man. Strong Man. Faithful Man. These are implicit in the word Man. Anything else is something less than a Man. A Man doesn't need a larger check as evidence of his worth, but WILL seek to reach his full potential - financial or otherwise - to provide a future for his posterity. He doesn't search out validation through the eyes of others, but strives to be and do what he knows is best for his family in spite of differing opinions. A Man is. Regardless of income he leads. He retains the Man's perogative to make the decisions that will keep his family intact, healthy and prosperous. A Man will accept nothing less than a Woman for his mate.

A Woman also is. Woman, is strong enough to stand alone. Goodnes, Strength and Faithfulness are characters branded into her being. Without regard to income She supports her Man. A Woman knows that a Man can be nothing other than The Man. She seeks a Man strong enough to lead her family. A Woman will follow the Man she has chosen. She will not settle for anything less than a Man.

[KevLove35]

Most women who earn more money than their men are prone to throw their salary up in the man's face when there's a disagreement .

These women tend to keep their options open even though they're in a committed relationship with a man who earns less than they do .

She's looking to upgrade , because she tends to equate Money = Power .

[PosPar]

I am a fine sister. LOL

Honorably discharged 35 year old black 7 year navy veteran, mother of one, sole proprietor, with a masters in business specialization in HR/marketing, BA in psychology minor in criminal justice, candidate for licensure in family therapy. Life is good !!! God is good!!!!;) I love my brothers. But they do have a problem with successful women. But we love them anyway. As long as he loves himself respects himself. I wouldn't care if he was a sewage guy.....

" A man with god given good intentions will be successful."

[KevLove35]

A Woman also is. Woman, is strong enough to stand alone. Goodnes, Strength and Faithfulness are characters branded into her being. Without regard to income She supports her Man. A Woman knows that a Man can be nothing other than The Man. She seeks a Man strong enough to lead her family. A Woman will follow the Man she has chosen. She will not settle for anything less than a Man.

This sounds good , but if you're listening to the Radio ; most of the women calling in -and- the ones in the studio are saying they would not date a Janitor .

So as you can see "Money" -and- Physical attributes are first and foremost with alot of women .

[Mahogany Love]

I've never had that problem. All the men I've dated have been on the same level with me. Money is the last issue in our relationship. TOO many problems when you start talking about salaries. The men I've dated enjoy paying and buying AND I also enjoy paying and buying for them. So therefore I've never had that problem. But I do feel very sorry for those that do have that problem because once you take away the money what do you have? (which can be taken away at any moment because YOU'RE not in control our LORD is.)

Always: Love, Peace & Harmony all over the world

[grenetta b]

:) THERE IS SO MUCH CONFLICT IN THE DATING WORLD THESE DAYS. MONEY HAS BECOME A KEY ISSUE WITH WOMEN THESE DAYS. CAUSE ALOT OF WOMEN HAVE HAD TO GO OUT AND PROVIDE FOR THE FAMILY. ECONOMY HAS PLAYED A MAJOR ROLE IN THIS ISSUE.

ALOT OF WOMEN ARE COMING FROM ONE PARENT HOMES AND THEY SEE THEIR MOTHER'S OUT HERE STRUGGLING AND PROVIDING WITHOUT THE MAN IN THE HOME. THEY FEEL THEY REALLY DON'T NEED THE MAN TO PROVIDE FOR THEM ANYMORE. AND IT'S PLAYING A MAJOR PART WITH WOMEN DATING.

I KNOW FROM MY OWN PERSPECTIVE I WAS TAUGHT BY MY SINGLE MOTHER
AND I QUOTE: "YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING AS THAT MAN AND SOMETIMES EVEN BETTER".


AND I USE TO SAY I DON'T KNOW MOMMA I CAN'T HAVE A BABY WITHOUT THAT MAN. BUT SOCIETY HAS MADE THAT WHERE A WOMAN CAN ALSO HAVE A BABY WITHOUT A MAN:eek: :eek:


SO WHEN A MAN COMES ALONG AND HE IS NOT MAKING AS MUCH AS THAT WOMAN OR HE HAS NOT THE PRESTIGE AS THAT WOMAN. WE DO SOMETIMES PUSH HIM ASIDE OR EMASCULATE THEM AT TIMES.

[Arizona19]

My motto used to be that I need a Brother that makes twice as much as me because : 1. He could take care of himself and
2. He could take care of me!


Now my motto is " I'd be happy with a Brother with enough income for him to take care of himself! If he can do that then, we can work together cause I can take care of me.

[Spiritgirl]

I've dated both the garbage man and the "professional" man. The garbage man is my best friend to this day. The "professional" man I had to kick his a-- off
the curb - and he had the nerve to act like he didn't know why!:mad:
What I know is that it's not how much money your man brings home; but it is whether he comes to the relationship as a "GROWN MAN". Whether he is attending to his business at the home front, at the garbage truck, or in the bedroom. Does he treat you with the respect you deserve, and are you at least
willing to meet him halfway.

[mizchandra]

Yes, I would date a janitor or a blue collar worker. Why not. As long as I like the peson ... and he's a honorable man. Why not ? For one, its not actually where you coming from, but where you end up or going. If we both share the same common ideals, thoughts, interests etc... Then who is to say what.
It is so superficial, so shallow, no depth to the caliber of a person, their morals to date someone based on their looks, income job status. But, that's the way world turns. Growing up my mother often chastised me for dating guys that she considered common, but I liked them as people. Why would you want to pretend your interested when all you want is their money. What a waste. I would rather have my own money, and be with someone I really enjoy being with even if they are a janitor. So what! Duh!!!


I have to say I can speak from a first person experience. My father got the boot because he was a laid back dude and not racing for a astronomical income. Mom felt she had to. She needed the best. That's what she wanted and if that meant working night and day then so be it. They divorced when I was 12-years-old. people get married who have no business marrying. Growing up I thought, they just need some marriage counseling. yea... whatever!!

It wasn't hard enough that my dad was a black man and wanted to be there for us. But on top of that. no support / no love from mom, his wife. She not realizing that the system is designed to keep him down as a black man. Nor did she care. I think we can all do better.. A
little support, no pity.. jus a little respect. A job is a job. And as long as you try to be the best darn janitor.
For whatever reason. Black women do better financially than black men in this country; yet we are not holding each other up. Go figure..
People are people and we all have feelings and we all need love.
Our black men need a little bit more than what is going on and as a family we need to be there.. why do we think we are God to judge and not empathize with our mens.. I'm not saying to be a sucker.. Just more supportive.. These men are our brothers/ fathers/ sons/ cousins/ friends' brother. Believe me I know.. Its been 18 years. It has not been a bed of roses. He's a plumber.
Holla

[PosPar]

This sounds good , but if you're listening to the Radio ; most of the women calling in -and- the ones in the studio are saying they would not date a Janitor .

So as you can see "Money" -and- Physical attributes are first and foremost with alot of women .


look, not all women look for those things. Did they state their age? Most of the time if their starting to decide what type of guy they will not date. They probably have some age and have had a lot of disappointment. I have dated physical attracted and less. A man is not defined by his looks..... trust that!!!!!! They can be the worse to date...LOL He can be broke as long as he doesn't want my money.:p

[Blackman7]

Do some women emasculate their men because they make more money?

Certainly! :)

Sirach 25:21. Do not be ensnared by a woman's beauty, and do not desire a woman for her possessions.

22. There is wrath and impudence and great disgrace when a wife supports her husband.

23. A dejected mind, a gloomy face, and a wounded heart are caused by an evil wife.

[Blackman7]

He can be broke as long as he doesn't want my money.:p

What ever happened to "unconditional love"??? :D :p :)

[Blackman7]

Yes, I would date a janitor or a blue collar worker. Why not. As long as I like the peson ... and he's a honorable man. Why not ? For one, its not actually where you coming from, but where you end up or going. If we both share the same common ideals, thoughts, interests etc... Then who is to say what.
It is so superficial, so shallow, no depth to the caliber of a person, their morals to date someone based on their looks, income job status. But, that's the way world turns. Growing up my mother often chastised me for dating guys that she considered common, but I liked them as people. Why would you want to pretend your interested when all you want is their money. What a waste. I would rather have my own money, and be with someone I really enjoy being with even if they are a janitor. So what! Duh!!!


I have to say I can speak from a first person experience. My father got the boot because he was a laid back dude and not racing for a astronomical income. Mom felt she had to. She needed the best. That's what she wanted and if that meant working night and day then so be it. They divorced when I was 12-years-old. people get married who have no business marrying. Growing up I thought, they just need some marriage counseling. yea... whatever!!

It wasn't hard enough that my dad was a black man and wanted to be there for us. But on top of that. no support / no love from mom, his wife. She not realizing that the system is designed to keep him down as a black man. Nor did she care. I think we can all do better.. A
little support, no pity.. jus a little respect. A job is a job. And as long as you try to be the best darn janitor.
For whatever reason. Black women do better financially than black men in this country; yet we are not holding each other up. Go figure..
People are people and we all have feelings and we all need love.
Our black men need a little bit more than what is going on and as a family we need to be there.. why do we think we are God to judge and not empathize with our mens.. I'm not saying to be a sucker.. Just more supportive.. These men are our brothers/ fathers/ sons/ cousins/ friends' brother. Believe me I know.. Its been 18 years. It has not been a bed of roses. He's a plumber.
Holla

He must be more than just a plumber to raise an intelligent woman like you! :)

[ssjup81]

I've never had that problem. All the men I've dated have been on the same level with me. Money is the last issue in our relationship. TOO many problems when you start talking about salaries. The men I've dated enjoy paying and buying AND I also enjoy paying and buying for them. So therefore I've never had that problem. But I do feel very sorry for those that do have that problem because once you take away the money what do you have? (which can be taken away at any moment because YOU'RE not in control our LORD is.)

Always: Love, Peace & Harmony all over the worldYou sound like me. When it comes to "going out", we usually do the "going dutch" thing. We each pay a portion. Then again, I guess the only reason I sort of insist on that, is because I sorta hate it when people buy stuff for me, unless it's a gift for Christmas or my birthday...other than that, no, I don't want anything...I'd feel like a charity case. I prefer to earn it myself through good old honest work.

[deadeyes]

This sounds good , but if you're listening to the Radio ; most of the women calling in -and- the ones in the studio are saying they would not date a Janitor .

So as you can see "Money" -and- Physical attributes are first and foremost with alot of women



They are not Women.

[ssjup81]

This sounds good , but if you're listening to the Radio ; most of the women calling in -and- the ones in the studio are saying they would not date a Janitor .

So as you can see "Money" -and- Physical attributes are first and foremost with alot of women

They are not Women.They're just being superficial and shallow...two things I've always disliked, which might explain why I seemed to always have "guy friends" as opposed to "girlfriends".

That aside, I'm dating a blind guy, myself, and he doesn't have the best job in the world (customer service rep, but he works on computers in his spare time and hopes to get into IT),and I don't care if I make more than him or if he makes more than I do. I like him, not his money and I hope the same applies with him when it comes to me.

[bigbadsam]

based on some of the women i've met it is my belief that some women do
hang it over the man's head if she is making more money than her man. they
will use it as a weopon to get their way on some things. more money on the
paycheck does not make them a better person or the boss. for bible believers
its written that the man is head of the household not the woman. back
in the day man was bringing home the bacon....big bad sam

[mizchandra]

Well, fact is he did not raise me. I am my own person, but if he's not ready socially then there is no use, because you can't change a person.

[lowjack]

:cool:I think It depends on the woman. there are those out there that see what time it is an use it to help her and her mate, at the same time she knows who she is an shes ok with the fact that she makes more then him, but still respects him as a man. then there is miss got to have it her way. aqll she see is her, thats the ones who run their poor men over. As fare as the man, If he knows himself on that note, she's not going to run him over anyway.Post your comments and share your stories!

Any rude or disrespectful posts will be removed from the board. Any comments made on other member’s posts will be removed from the board. Please do not use any profanity and make sure to respect one another's opinions. This is an exchange of opinions not a debate. Please do not post any personal contact information or telephone numbers.