The B-Word: Is it okay for black men to call black women a B?

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[tyra_78]

:(
I think that is very disrespectful and while other races look on and see our own black men acting in this disgraceful way they think it is ok and all good to do. We need our black men to lead the way and show improve that we are respected.

[ENERGY]

Good day everyone,
No I don't think its okay for black men to call black women b's. I've noticed in men the type of up bringing they had that determines how often he refers to the b word. Those type of black men grew up in an abusive relationship, probably hearing and seeing there mother getting called b's. Same has a women hearing the abuse growing up then they think its okay. A small minded man that cant seem to pull it together will result in always referring to women as b's. There vocab is very limited, those that type that will crack under pressure. Our men need to break the chains so there sons wont fall in that trap. The ones that call women B's self esteem is low and they have to put on a mirage in front of others like they never even use the word.

GOD BLESS

[Lainey Bird]

Yes it is degrating for a man to call a female the B word, but is it right for the females to call each other the B word in conversation or in anger, because some of us really do that and then turn around and get mad if a male call us the B word. Where do we draw the Line.

[Layla]

It's never ok for any male to call a woman the "b" word.
It's disrespectful, ignorant, and insane.
A "b" is a female dog. Are we a dog. That be the case then you would be a dog and your mama and your sister and your auntie and them. Remember we came from the side of the man. So WO Man if that's the case then you are a "b" as well.

[Mahogany Love]

what-so-ever will get away with calling me out of my name without hearing my mouth. I REFUSE TO CONDONE anyone family, friend, black or white to call me a name lessmore the "B" word without me saying "YO MOMMA'S A B"!!!! If you feel the need to call me a DOG then YO MOMMA is one too!!!!! AND THEM IS FIGHTING WORDS SO I GUESS WE BETTER GET TO FIGHTING THEN. That goes for family, friend, black or white. All my family & friends are well aware of this cause WE just don't USE the word cause WE all feel the same about the subject!!!!!

P.S. I am sure once put into this situation MY LORD will humble me to handle this situation differently. But it surely does get me FIRED up listening to comments being called in about the subject.

Always: Love, Peace & Harmony all over the world

[ChildoftheKing]

I am sure she has been called the b word many times out or in her face. But just because Thomas has millions it's enough to be taken to court. I agree nobody should call anyone a bitch but it's accepted on tv, videos, songs and so forth. Had it been an individual making 30,000 dollars a year as oppose of millions it wouldn't have been an issue. At the same time it is disrespectful but sueing for 10 million is ridiculous. IMO, this is a frivolous lawsuit.

[BlackUnity2007]

I watched the entire video deposition from the Isiah trial. He clearly stated that it was not okay for any man of any race to call a woman a bitch. He did however say that as black man he would still be offended but not as much as if a white man said it. There is a huge difference than him saying it is okay!

As a black man I agree with Isiah. I would be mad if a black man called a woman a bitch, but If a white man said it, I would feel a little different. I would be a little bit more pissed!

[Brint561]

Never, is it OK for anyone to call a black female this word. This word was an automatic fighting word once upon a time. Now females are calling themselves this! I can't and will never understand it. How can our brothers, and fathers, step on us with the use of this word- because we have let them!
Notice I wrote brothers and fathers - Not men because Men respect women especially their own!

[Pro Black to the Max]

I guss its ok if you have - no home training , no mother, no brain ,got a lil B-word in you, or just a fool. I have used that word out of anger and it was directed at that person never to discribe my beautiful black sisters. oh yah you dont need to be female to be a B-word cause some of you N-words are B-words too.

[Ms. Write]

What? Absolutely not! As some of the other posts have mentioned, black men have a duty to black women not to degrade them - publicly or privately. And black women also owe black men and themselves the same respect. I would be offended by anyone calling me a "B," but the offense would be double fold coming from my God given protector.

White men have referred to black women as everything but - for ages. And we are well aware that those white men need education. But as for my men that chose to engage in this form of behavior, the solution goes beyond a need of education. They need to also reconnect, by looking in the mirror and remembering whose arms was the first to hold and nurture him. Another note for those black men that think it is cool to call their own derogatory names; when you do so, those that witness this, realize that you are the fool; not the woman to whom the offense was slung.

[shann357]

Mike,

It's ok to use Biach, Negga, or Fahg only if you are in those communities. If a woman call a woman a "B" it's ok (Most of the times). Same thing with other communities.....

Mike, it's a community thing.... The same if I'm a "Q-dog", Crip or Blood... If you're not a Q-dog you don't run up to a Q Dog and talk Q dog talk.

If you are not a Blood or Crip you don't walk up to them and say what's up Blood, Cuz or Crip....

IT'S A COMMUNITY THING !!! It's words that stays inside of that family or community....

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING.

Rob

[DetGina]

Understand this, in the world of work the employer is obligated to check their employee, if their actions are out of order, in this case Isiah is an employee as well as the woman suing. Now she complains about Isiah allegedly calling her a bitch, the people she complained to (the employer) did nothing about it and basically they retailated against her, didn't make Isiah apoligize for his alleged words, not only that but after claiming she is a good worker all of the sudden she's not a good worker after she compained about him. She's not only going after Isiah, but she's going after the bosses that allowed it to happen. If she proves her case, maybe in the future people will check themselves at work and stop talking trash to folks they have a position over.

Personally, when I call someone the b-word, I'm ready to rumble, those are fighting words to me in my opinion, I can't hang with the word suddendly being a term of enderment for some folks. Just because some low-class females use the word, don't make it right, it just means they have no class!!!!

[Finus1]

It is not okay for any person; male or female of any race to call another woman a 'B'. I seriously doubt that any woman has the name 'B' listed as her name on her birth certificate.

I let folks know right up front DO NOT call me out of my name. You will respect me whether you like me or not! Like the Queen used to sing 'Who you calling a 'B'!'

[Mahogany Love]

WHAT COMMUNITY YOU ARE FROM BUT I AM NOT FROM THAT COMMUNITY! SO IF I VISIT DOES THAT MEAN I AM TO BE CALLED OUT OF MY NAME BECAUSE IT IS YOUR COMMUNITY? GET A GRIP, community thing is your excuse. I guess once you leave your community and go to work, to visit other communities it makes it alright to do because it is your "community thing". Well the way I was raised is IT ALL STARTS AT HOME and it sounds to me like if you have children then IT'S NOT STARTING IN YOUR HOME THEY ARE ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER, WHEREVER, WHENEVER BECAUSE ITS A COMMUNITY THING!!! That's part of the problem with our children today they are being allowed to act crazy cause their parents just think it is a "COMMUNITY THING" well honey it is spilling over more than just in your community!!!! WAKE UP!!!!

Always: Love, Peace & Harmony all over the world

Mike,

It's ok to use Biach, Negga, or Fahg only if you are in those communities. If a woman call a woman a "B" it's ok (Most of the times). Same thing with other communities.....

Mike, it's a community thing.... The same if I'm a "Q-dog", Crip or Blood... If you're not a Q-dog you don't run up to a Q Dog and talk Q dog talk.

If you are not a Blood or Crip you don't walk up to them and say what's up Blood, Cuz or Crip....

IT'S A COMMUNITY THING !!! It's words that stays inside of that family or community....

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING.

Rob

[filmoredollar]

LOL good one man. Iasiah Thomas is a smart idiot if there ever was one. Good on the court but damn if he is not one of the nicest most HATED men in the game of basketball. I've just never liked Iasiah and he's always seemed shady to me, like he's hiding something. I hope he gets his.....Oh and no it's not ok to use the B word.

[sq357]

The answer to that question could be found in the company you keep? If you are being called a Bitch often, you may want to change your crowd or do a personal assessment. Especially if you are easily offended.

Are we that niave to think that the word Bitch is less offensive than being called cat or dog when confronted. Before long we will all be using sign language because words are obsolete. oh yeah, some sign are. Oh, by using B-word changes it's meaning or affect?

[Miss P]

Big George, what type of females are you hanging around who call each other Bs. Likewise, I guess, it's the same ones who are calling males Bs and Ns in the same sentence. George, this says a lot about you.....check it out. I'm in the community regularly and mentor high school females and unless, I'm completely out the loop or whatever, I do not hear this word in conversation.

However, I did hear about a young female relative of mine, who addressed another young female relative of mine by saying "what's up B?" I hear, the one who was being addressed quickly checked girlfriend and no further incident took place.

I have absolutely no female friends, associates, family, or co-workers who call each other or anybody else a B (unless, they have really p'd them off). Maybe my young relative who called the other a B, may have that conversation with her friends, but again......I have not heard it.

Personally, I have very little respect for someone calling another a B or a N and I take issue with what what's-his-face is saying that it's ok for a person of color calling their same color counterpart a B. I've surmised that it was his true self talking and he won't have to think about my support for him or my mention of him to our young people, as a person to look up to. :cool:

[soulboogie]

I'ts not cool for anyone Black, White or what have you to call any woman "The B-Word." Just like it's not cool for black people to call each other "The N-Word." and wear it like a badge of honor.

[LDG1]

In this society nothings okay anymore can't say the b-word can't say the n-word can't say the f-word, how about the entire nation just mime? we are grown people and have the right to say whatever we want. if that term applies to that particular female (and guess what? it isn't just black women so get over it) so be it if they don't wanna be called that they should quit acting like one, there is a male version of the b-word in case you didn't notice a**hole nobody's regulating that yet (gee I wonder why?) maybe because it refers to every man that acts like one, bottom line ladies if your offended by that word it's only because you are one and probably hear it on a daily basis it's your own fault not ours.

[Blackman7]

Big George, what type of females are you hanging around who call each other Bs. Likewise, I guess, it's the same ones who are calling males Bs and Ns in the same sentence. George, this says a lot about you.....check it out. I'm in the community regularly and mentor high school females and unless, I'm completely out the loop or whatever, I do not hear this word in conversation.

If you ever get a chance, watch "Flavor of Love" or "Charm School Girls".

Sistas on there were calling each other "B words" all the time! :)

[Blackman7]

"The B-Word: Is it okay for black men to call black women a B?"

I've heard black men AND women call each other EVERY NAME IN THE BOOK when they're MAD.

Is it okay for a woman to call a man a "punk", a BMF, or a BSOB?

I wonder what a woman did that FIRST inspired men to call her a "B word" anyway???

What prompted the FIRST man that called a woman a B?

[Blackman7]

LOL go one man. Iasiah Thomas is a smart idiot is there ever was one. Good on the court but damn if he is not one of the nicest most HATED men in the game of basketball. I've just never liked Iasiah and he's always seemed shady to me, like he's hiding something. I hope he gets his.....Oh and no it's not ok to use the B word.

Isaiah Thomas is a great man. There is too much SELF HATRED misdirected upon famous black men in the black community.

[Sweetconfusion26]

Simply "NO!". It is not o.k. for black men to call sistas' B's. On the other hand I look at our sisters and how some of us allow our men to say this word to us. It is not ok, but look at how we are represented. I just suggest to our women; including me, R-E-S-P-E-C-T ourselves first!

[Blackman7]

Some women are so bad that even the B word is too good for them!

Women should be judged as INDIVIDUALS. GOOD women shouldn't pay for what the BAD women do!

[diamond98]

The B word is degrading and offensive to me and my female friends. A friend of mine mention to me after attending one of our family gatherings that there wasn't any drinking, smoking or offensive language. This may seem boring to some but when you can leave the gatherings and remember the wonderful time and not auntie mary calling someone a B it's worth the self control. We have a responsiblity to our young men and our young girls to set positive examples and teach them how to conduct themselves respectably and also with dignity and integrity. Many people may feel if you use the degrogatory term "B" with a title such as Queen in front of it (Queen B) that exceptable. My take on that is now your indicating that i'm the "B" of all "B's" Where do we draw the line someone asked? we draw the line when someone calls us these names and we no longer shrug it off as their ignorance but correct them in the process " excuse me but I know you meant to call me by my given name and my name is____". This way your correcting the individual but as we call cutting their throat (telling them off) in white collar type fashion. Well ,if it happens again at least they were warned before you take action whatever that may be in whatever form you may deem necessary. Unfortunately there are some battles we always continue to fight; however i believe if every women that is subjected to this corrects the problem as it arises it will begin cease.

[Blackman7]

With a 63% divorce rate among african american women and 70% of all black american kids being raised in homes WITHOUT FATHERS, it's HARD to think of black women as "queens".

[Blackman7]

What about those sistas out there slangin' their behinds, like a DRUG DEALER SLANGS CRACK???

Y'all can call her a "lady" if you WANT to, but even a BLIND man can see! :eek: :cool:

[diamond98]

well blackman7 I guess you wouldn't call her "lady" but do you have to call her a "b" because of the choices she made degrade herself ....not your call.

[Blackman7]

Do you have to call a man that steals your purse a thief?

Most times, the names people are called are determined by what they do.

Take the TV show "Cheaters", for example. Before one woman was caught cheating, her man called her his "angel", but once he saw the VIDEOTAPE, he angrily shouted, "GRRRR!!!! That _____!"

[Blackman7]

Personally speaking, I don't make it a habit of calling women the B word and I have NEVER thought of ALL women as"B's". :)

[D_bkny]

For me, as a black man, I find it unacceptable to call a woman, especially a black woman, the b-word. Yes, granted, there are some women out there that may drive you to think that way. In the end, you just have to leave them alone and you go your way.

[Blackman7]

You're a wise brotha. In the end, you will leave them alone, but the MIDDLE is the hard part! :D

[Blackman7]

Of course, the BEGINNING of a relationship is always SWEET. That's where the sista LIES and blames her PAST MEN for all her FAILED RELATIONSHIPS! (it's never HER fault) :cool: :)

[Blackman7]

Seriously, we're all black here. (and those that aren't don't matter)

When was the last time you heard a sista take responsibility for the breakup of her relationship?

When did you hear a sista say, "I was wrong" or "It was MY fault?" :D :rolleyes: :)

[Blackman7]

Men are always singin' songs like "Please don't go", while WOMEN sing THREATS like "You must not know about me!" :D

[filmoredollar]

There is too much SELF HATRED misdirected upon famous black men in the black community.

I agree that too much self hate exist, but I don't dislike iasiah because he's successful or black in fact am proud of those facts. I dislike Iasiah because as a person I think that he is a fake based on how he carries himself, his body language as he interacts with people and the fact that i personally think he's hiding something (I don't no him nor do you he could be a saint). At any rate his making statements such as it's better for a black man to called a black women a b than anyone else and am paraphrasing is not the mark in my opinion of a great man, nor was his bringing Stephen Marburry's tired lazy, whinny behind to New York. So like I said, I hope he gets his.

[Blackman7]

What do you expect? He was raised by a single mother! (jus' joking) :D ;) :)

[Blackman7]

At any rate his making statements such as it's better for a black man to called a black women a b than anyone else and am paraphrasing is not the mark in my opinion of a great man

It's just a word. (like the BET protest, much ado about nothing)

You're an intelligent woman. I wish you the best! :)

[filmoredollar]

It's just a word. (like the BET protest, much ado about nothing)

You're an intelligent woman. I wish you the best! :)

I am a man but am glad to see that my gender and race neutral name works.

[Blackman7]

Men are always singin' songs like "Please don't go", while WOMEN sing THREATS like "You must not know about me!" :D

"I can get another you in a minute".

Dang. Like ordering pizza. :rolleyes:

I guess brothas kiss a LOT of black womens bootys!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Irreplaceable By Beyonce Knowles

To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left

Mmmm...
To the left, to the left
Everthing you own in the box to the left
In the closet, that's my stuff
Yes, if I bought then please don't touch (Don't touch)

And keep talkin' that mess that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time?
And, it's my name that's on that jag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standin' in the front yard tellin' me how I'm such a fool
Talkin' 'bout, I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

[chorus:]
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute,
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
Your irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone, call up that chick,
And see if she's home
Oops, I bet you thought, that I didn't know,
What did you think, I was puttin' you out for

Because you was untrue, rollin' her around in the car that I bought you
Baby drop them keys
Hurry up before your taxi leaves

Standin' in the front yard tellin' me how I'm such a fool
Talkin' 'bout, I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

[chorus:]
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
Your irreplaceable

So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you?
Baby I won't shed a tear for you (I won't shed a tear)
I won't lose a wink of sleep (A wink of sleep)
'Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy, hey...

To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
Mmmm...
To the left, to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
To the left, to the left
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
Your irreplaceable

[chorus:]
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
(Baby hey yeah!)

[chorus:]
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute

You can pack all your bags we're finished (You must not know 'bout me)
'Cause you made your bed now lay in it (You must not know 'bout me)
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

[Blackman7]

I see...

To the BLACK "man" the woman is a QUEEN, but to HER...well he's "REPLACEABLE" :rolleyes: :cool:

Sort of like a disposable lighter.

[Djehuty]

The word "Bitch" derives from the word "bicce." Originally, "Bitch" was a word with a positive meaning, being a name for a "goddess." It was originally applied to a follower of Artemis, Leader of the Dog Cult, hence today's definition of "bitch" referring to a FEMALE dog (and not a male dog). Christians corrupted the term and dubbed all individuals who would not convert to Christianity as "bitch" (for females) and "son of a bitch" (for males). The English language has put all former words of high esteem pertaining to "females" in the pejorative, i.e. cunt, broad, bitch, whore, witch, etc.

Coming up to date, in our society, it is very disrepectful to call a Black woman (or any woman for that matter) a bitch, at least to her face. The word is used so much (like the N-word) that it causes its focus to magnify which is why it won't go away (like with the N-word).

Where thought or focus goes, energy flows! So the more people concentrate on what they don't want (i.e. to be called N-word, Bitch, etc.), the more they will receive what they don't want as the Universe doesn't understand or respond to negative language, only positive language, which is why people should only concentrate on what they do want or desire (to be called by good names, i.e. Queen, King, Goddess, brother, sister, etc.).

The B-word is expressed so much because it has been suppressed for too long and what is suppressed will be expressed. The same can be said of homosexuality, profane words, sexual taboos, etc.

The best thing to do in my opinion is to teach people the origin of words (taboo words) and enlighten people on what they are actually using in everyday discourse.

There's really no good or bad, at least not in the spiritual realm. What makes a word "bad" or "good"? Who chooses what words are bad and what words are good? Words are used to control people and always will be (unless people properly educate and enlighten themselves).

The more campaigns people come up with to get rid of things they DON'T want, the more the things they don't want will linger - GUARANTEED!

Campaigns to end the use of the N-word, B-word, etc. keep them in existence due to all the energy and focus that goes into them.

Knowledge and the application thereof, is POWER!

[Vanilladlyte72]

Starts in the home. I wish my son or daughter would use that word!!!

Problem is until we all collectively stand up then we can never control the b-word or any other negative word about females.

As long as woman shake there bootys in these videos half naked and we continue to support these messages being sent out in video and songs then we are going to be sterotyped!!

We continue to talk junk but how many woman who talk junk are going to the club on weekends...looking like the video girsl and half naked shakin it in the club.

[Blackman7]

I've never called any of those women dancin' in da club, the "B" word.

Believe dat! :)

[Blackman7]

I am a man but am glad to see that my gender and race neutral name works.

Oops! Sorry.

[Blackman7]

It's never ok for any male to call a woman the "b" word.
It's disrespectful, ignorant, and insane.
A "b" is a female dog. Are we a dog.

Some black women say "all men are dogs", because that's how men act.

Likewise, some women go from man to man.

As a child, I once had a female dog named "Queenie".

Needless to say, she wasn't devoted to only ONE male.

[Blackman7]

Now if a man calls a woman a "greyback", she can consider that as a compliment.

The female gorilla is called a "grayback" and like ALL the females in the Silverback gorilla's harem, she is DEVOTED and VERY SUBMISSIVE to only ONE male. :)

[enpowermentnow]

Big George, what type of females are you hanging around who call each other Bs. Likewise, I guess, it's the same ones who are calling males Bs and Ns in the same sentence. George, this says a lot about you.....check it out. I'm in the community regularly and mentor high school females and unless, I'm completely out the loop or whatever, I do not hear this word in conversation.

However, I did hear about a young female relative of mine, who addressed another young female relative of mine by saying "what's up B?" I hear, the one who was being addressed quickly checked girlfriend and no further incident took place.

I have absolutely no female friends, associates, family, or co-workers who call each other or anybody else a B (unless, they have really p'd them off). Maybe my young relative who called the other a B, may have that conversation with her friends, but again......I have not heard it.

Personally, I have very little respect for someone calling another a B or a N and I take issue with what what's-his-face is saying that it's ok for a person of color calling their same color counterpart a B. I've surmised that it was his true self talking and he won't have to think about my support for him or my mention of him to our young people, as a person to look up to. :cool:

I am a native of Chicago. I left for twenty years, and when I returned I could not believe the flow of conversation. What up B....b bbbbbbbb....I insisted that my sister (who is older than me 51) stop refering to me as a b.....and a n. At that age you would think she knew better, I really do not know when sisters started doing this, but it needs to cease. You can not play a hand of cards without being called a b repeadly. So.......I just stay away from these fools that call me a square
Where I went to school those were fighting words.

[Blackman7]

I really do not know when sisters started doing this, but it needs to cease.

It started around the same time that more black women started having kids out of wedlock, and raising their children in single parent families.

Once the future rappers started observing women around the neighborhood and their boyfriends, they started writing songs about their observations and calling a "spade a spade". (no pun intended)

As rap music increased in popularity, the "B", "H", and "N" words became more common. As more radio stations played it, the usage of those words increased:

We're at the point now, where many women feel that being called a "B" is a compliment

When women are promiscuous, the "B" word is more common, you see.

[enpowermentnow]

It started around the same time that more black women started having kids out of wedlock, and raising their children in single parent families.

Once the future rappers started observing women around the neighborhood and their boyfriends, they started writing songs about their observations and calling a "spade a spade"; (no pun intended)

As rap music increased in popularity, the "B" word, the "H" word, and the "N" word became more common. As more radio stations played it, the usage of those words increased.

We're at the point now, where many women feel that being called a "B" is a compliment;

When women are promiscuous, the "B" word becomes more common, you see.

I truely missed something being in Europe. I was appallled. When I left school we were protested for Black History classes. Our student body won the argument, but it seems to me from reading some of the post there is a big need for Black History.

[tonyayvette]

I do not think that it is ever okay for a black man to call a black woman a "B". My husband refers to me a "queen" and I feel that all men should do the same. I teach my soon to be 14 year old son the same thing. If a woman doesn't act in a manner that makes her worthy of being called a queen, she still doesn't deserve to be called a "B". The sad thing is a lot of black women refer to each other as "B's" in a serious degrading or playful way as a "term of endearment", and I am totally against both. As a matter of fact, I am currently introducing a new brand for young girls called, Precious Young Queens. With the hopes that young girls will see themselves as Precious Young Queens and demand to be treated that way.

[enpowermentnow]

You always have a reference.

[Blackman7]

I truely missed something being in Europe. I was appallled. When I left school we were protested for Black History classes. Our student body won the argument, but it seems to me from reading some of the post there is a big need for Black History.

According to the experts, a black child had a better chance of being in a two parent family during SLAVERY, than it has today!

(excerpt from Divorce Statistics: Effects on Black Community)

During the days of slavery a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents than he or she is today.

Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage, rev. and enl. ed., (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1992), 110 . See also Herbert G. Gutman, The Black Family in Slavery and Freedom, 1750-1925 (New York: Pantheon, 1976). For a review of this and similar studies see Stanley L. Engerman, "Black Fertility and Family Structure in the U.S. 1880-1940," Journal of Family History 2 (Summer 1977): 177ff. Cited in The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher page 117

[Blackman7]

You always have a reference.

You're welcome. I wouldn't want anyone to think I was lying! ;)

[enpowermentnow]

You always have a reference.

Most of the comments posted are from a MICRO point of view you need to have the MACRO point of view as well to truely have an informed opinon.

I grew up during segregation. In my neighborhood whites would arbitrally shoot down the street just because Blacks moved into the neighborhood the black men from church and the Black Panther's would patrol the neighborhoods 24/7 they knew us by name and had remote walkie talkies. The Black Panthers also started head start enabling women to go to work.
My parents took care of dislocated Blacks you could find sleeping in cars. This is my Micro point of view.

The MACRO point of view when the war on proverty act was enacted in the 1960's. Neighbors stopped helping neighbors who were recieving vouchers from the government. During desegregation Blacks moved to the suburbs and bought homes. I grew up on a block where black people always bragged about all the different races they were mixed with, and where they worked.
My neighbors were politicians, pimps, garbage men, teachers, preachers, nurses, and housewives. No unwed mothers. Blacks also took pride in the neighborhood. They were just happy to be a homeowner. The Government war on proverty act divided Blacks. They publicized data on a few welfare queens and all the neighbor assistance went out the door. Division is what all these other issues are derived from, religon, place of birth, complexion, education, sororities, fraternites, etc. From a Macro perspective we need to stay focused on the injustices of our people. People will make bad choices/decisions as children often, however, it should not be the end of their life. Outlawed at the beginning of the 20th Century, private corporations are once again owning and operating prisons for profit. A controversial issue which dates back to the days that followed the Emancipation Proclamation, CORRECTIONS examines its re-appearance today amidst globalization and the most awesome growth of prisons in all of modern history, painting a complex portrait of what many are calling the "prison industrial complex." More and More of our people are being locked up for profit. Frederick Douglas said it best

If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation are men who want to crop without plowing the ground; they want the rain without thunder and lightening. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters...power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."

[enpowermentnow]

You're welcome. I wouldn't want anyone to think I was lying! ;)

Never thought that just informed

[cybastella]

I do not think that it is ever okay for a black man to call a black woman a "B". My husband refers to me a "queen" and I feel that all men should do the same. I teach my soon to be 14 year old son the same thing. If a woman doesn't act in a manner that makes her worthy of being called a queen, she still doesn't deserve to be called a "B". The sad thing is a lot of black women refer to each other as "B's" in a serious degrading or playful way as a "term of endearment", and I am totally against both. As a matter of fact, I am currently introducing a new brand for young girls called, Precious Young Queens. With the hopes that young girls will see themselves as Precious Young Queens and demand to be treated that way.

I applaud your efforts. It is clear that we do not live in an equal society, as evidenced by some of the comments in this thread, so the least we can do, IMO, is to strive for one where we can place a sense of pride in people who may have never had one before. My hat goes off to you :)

[joy316]

Why is there a possibility in your mind that Black women are undeserving of respect?

[sq357]

I truely missed something being in Europe. I was appallled. When I left school we were protested for Black History classes. Our student body won the argument, but it seems to me from reading some of the post there is a big need for Black History.
And are you the one to teach? You are so closed to the fact that other's have an opinion! I'm sure your will illuminate the minds of the youth with your vast knowledge. More specifically you willings to listen to the opinions of others.

[enpowermentnow]

And are you the one to teach? You are so closed to the fact that other's have an opinion! I'm sure your will illuminate the minds of the youth with your vast knowledge. More specifically you willings to listen to the opinions of others.

You comment on topics from your point of view. Without any point of reference I have asked several times for your information source that has not been provided. In order to change the opinon of others you have to support your point of view. In addition some of the comments you have posted are inflammatory. For example, making a statement that Mr. Baisden was paid. Without any evidence. So, I will close in saying I value anyone's opinon based on facts. I teach black history every time I have the opportunity. Do you? and I am not being paid.

[gwonaswoman]

It is not a community thing. It is a "destroy our community thing"

[gwonaswoman]

Unless they all married white men, the percentage of black men and divorce is pretty close and by your calculations 70% of the black children were abandoned by their fathers. Real men that raise their kids are kings so it is safe to assume that single mothers are queens. Duh.

[gwonaswoman]

IMO, the names we call each other (note i said "we") is a symptom of the virus that is killing us as a people. There are other symptoms that we see around us everyday and it is too many to name right now anyway. We've accepted this behavior so long, that now it is common. That does not make it okay. When people speak out on this, there is this kind of debate. But what are we debating? Someones right to say what they want versus the right a person has to demand to be treated differently. I personally have used the b word and been called the b word. I'm trying to phase it (And other words) out of my vocabulary, because I don't want that for my daughters. A time for a change is coming and we have to decide if we are up for the challenge. If we can't get this degradation out of our communities how are we ever gonna unite to fight the powers that be.:confused:

[gwonaswoman]

Women get real. You know a b, are a b, met a b or can be a b. If we as women stop acting this way and allowing ourselves to be called that it would stop. Obviously, no one should use this word except in the literal since, but that is not the world we live in.
IMO, the names we call each other (note i said "we") is a symptom of the virus that is killing us as a people. There are other symptoms that we see around us everyday and it is too many to name right now anyway. We've accepted this behavior so long, that now it is common. That does not make it okay. When people speak out on this, there is this kind of debate. But what are we debating? Someones right to say what they want versus the right a person has to demand to be treated differently. I personally have used the b word and been called the b word. I'm trying to phase it (And other words) out of my vocabulary, because I don't want that for my daughters. A time for a change is coming and we have to decide if we are up for the challenge. If we can't get this degradation out of our communities how are we ever gonna unite to fight the powers that be.:confused:

[filmoredollar]

Iasiah got his and am happy about it:) . What was it 12 million dollars or fourteen. That video did it for him. Next step for him. The Unemployment line. Actually I dislike this guy for reason completey unrelated to this topic but he brought this on himself in my opinion. And no one gets to whine about race because it was a black women that sued him. maybe this will remove that stupid smug little grin from his face.

[lavagirl]

I just don't understand, the "B" word is a curse word and so is the "N" word. You don't curse, esp around children. When my family says a curse word they usually whisper it, even if their isn't any kids around. Nobody says the full word B+++H, we all just say B if sayin' it is not too offensive to the people we are around at that time. Cursing in public is OFFENSIVE. The worst word tht I have ever called my husband to his face is Jerk, we've been married for 8 years and I'm ashamed about that. Cause he is my King.r

[deeWill]

I have never referred to ANY woman as a "B". I believe there was another post by a member who stated that she believed that it was how a person was raised which would determine whether or not they used that word. I think she is 100% correct. If you witnessed this type of behavior as a young man, then you probably believe that this is acceptable. It's just like our people using the "N" word, which I don't use either. We think it's ok, but other races can't use it, or we're ready to fight!! But they hear us and think we're all the same. They probably call us ignorant! Not true.

[PatDickerson]

[Born a BEAUTIFUL BLACK female I could never understand what does one get out of calling a female the "B" word!:confused: I speculate that anyone who uses that word has something else going on with them. Using that word serves no positive effect on anyone. We must stop downgrading us as a people. I was brought up to respect and in my parents household we were not allowed to call anyone out of their name. I've passed that on to my chidren who are now young adults. WE must stand firm and not allow bashing of character to take precidence or stagnet us as a people.

[ssjup81]

IMO, it's not okay to call a woman a "B" for any reason period. I don't care if she pissed you off, you should have enough courtesy not to resort to name-calling of any sort. IMO, you're stooping down to the level of the person you're arguing with, and making yourself look just as stupid.

The main problem with the "B" word, is that it's used much too loosely. I'm under the impression that back in the old days, calling a woman such a word was, well, frowned upon. Turn on the television now, a woman having a bad day, is automatically labeled a "bitch". Do men get such words used towards them on a daily basis? No. The whole thing is unfair, sad, and stupid, and it's our fault for allowing the media to continue with it, like it's no big deal.

I went to a party the other night (I'm not into parties much and can count on one hand how many I've actually been to [1 as an adult, the one I just went to lol, none as a teen, some as a kid], but I knew that an old childhood friend was going to be there, and I hadn't seen her in years, so that's why I went...oh, I like raves though...mostly for the music lol), and I heard it used there by the women to each other. I was flabbergasted. I was like, "Why?" These are intelligent women. Business women and university graduates. It's worse enough that we blacks call one another the "N" word, which I find completely stupid, and there's no way anyone can justify that, but women using the word to one another is just boggling. No wonder some men feel they can just call us that without thinking twice about it. It's an embarrassment, really.

To me, we seem to be the only race who put ourselves down, and then try to justify it or negate it with something positive.

[Ms. No Single Mama Drama]

What bothers me the most is how, we, as women, feel like a man has been disrespectful to us when he is only calling us what we behave like.

To clarify, if we carry ourselves like "Bs" and "H" are we not giving any and everyone permission to not only call us that, but treat us like that.

Until women demand to be treated better (first by recognizing our own value), no one else will feel that they should treat us they way should be treated.

Here's some soul food to nibble on:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

[B'More Real]

What woman wants to be called an "itch-bay". We SHOULD carry ourselves as the queens we are, however; i say call her what she is....
Every woman do not carry themselves as a queen. Is it right to call a "whoe" a queen?, no, you call her what she is....Saying all that to say, if she acts like one ,carries herself in that manner, and responds to it with pride.. then she is what she is.

[shep15]

I am a married man of almost 10 years, and was retiring from the military. About 10 years ago, I met and fell madly in love with a woman 6 years my junior while stationed on a remote island location. After our nearly year long courtship, we decided to marry, the love I felt for her was like nothing I felt before. Shortly after the marriage, I received my orders for a one year assignment overseas alone, while she stayed back state side with her daughter (my step-daughter). At this time all was good (so I thought).

After my departure and as I got settled into the new assignment I started to receive at first semi-distrubing phone calls and behavior from my wife, that she was “going out” (all the time) and “I just got in at 4 or 5 am” and that she was partying with a group of guys she was stationed with, sometimes being the only woman in the group. Months of this activity continued, but, I overlooked it (with extreme difficulty), because I wanted to trust her, I just knew this woman would not do this to me anything to jeopardize what we just started. I would bring up my concerns, she flipped the script and we would argue about me not trusting her. Needless to say, that I did find out that two months after I left she had an affair, in fact several. I was devastated, I could not believe this had happened. I started to blame myself for not being there during the first stage of our marriage. In fact she stated she was sorry and young, lonely etc… With my assignment ending, I came home and I tried to forgive but I could not forget but we did move forward. We had a daughter of our own and, yes he is mine. But about a year after I felt that she was at it again. The cell phone is the corner stone of all affairs. This woman would receive phone calls 24/7 at all hours of the night. If she left the room with the phone on the charger, she would rush back to retrieve it. The feeling that something was not right in my home started when I came home and had a gut feeling that someone had been there during the day. Bottles of empty alcohol, cups in the sink, food disappearing, lights left on, hotel receipts and/or keys and yes this man even took a dump in my bathroom and didn’t flush. I would receive calls from my wife only to check and see if I was at work or not. I found out that this affair she was having was with a neighbors drug dealing son and with several coworkers and ex-coworker. The fool in love I am, we talked and I confessed that with the feelings I was having of her stepping out, I too had seen someone for a couple of months. This revelation seemed to shock her, I guess since I was always at home with the kids while she ran the streets, it took her for a loop. But, we both agreed to give it another try again, and this time we would put faith in our relationship. For sometime it did seem to work, we did things together and we were finding each other as once before. Until, she started smoking weed heavily again, and all the signs came back into play.

To make a long story short, I found out that she was sleeping with her boss, two other married guys (one whose wife called me) and my best friend of nearly 20 years. She put me through hell, I lost everything, my spouse, family, house, military career, post career and friend. To all of which she shows no feelings. I married a stone cold bitch, but, I should have seen the signs. Her nick name use to be “freak of the island”. I was warned by her friends to just hit it and walk away, that is all she is good for. But I thought she was better than that and I wanted to believe she was too. What hurts most is, I seen the signs and knew deep down what she was up to for so long, but, I couldn’t believe it was happening to me. So, to end “You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife”

[lala60610]

I guss its ok if you have - no home training , no mother, no brain ,got a lil B-word in you, or just a fool. I have used that word out of anger and it was directed at that person never to discribe my beautiful black sisters. oh yah you dont need to be female to be a B-word cause some of you N-words are B-words too.

:eek: Awwwwww, burrrrrn!
No.

[lala60610]

If the shoe fits

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am a married man of almost 10 years, and was retiring from the military. About 10 years ago, I met and fell madly in love with a woman 6 years my junior while stationed on a remote island location. After our nearly year long courtship, we decided to marry, the love I felt for her was like nothing I felt before. Shortly after the marriage, I received my orders for a one year assignment overseas alone, while she stayed back state side with her daughter (my step-daughter). At this time all was good (so I thought).

After my departure and as I got settled into the new assignment I started to receive at first semi-distrubing phone calls and behavior from my wife, that she was “going out” (all the time) and “I just got in at 4 or 5 am” and that she was partying with a group of guys she was stationed with, sometimes being the only woman in the group. Months of this activity continued, but, I overlooked it (with extreme difficulty), because I wanted to trust her, I just knew this woman would not do this to me anything to jeopardize what we just started. I would bring up my concerns, she flipped the script and we would argue about me not trusting her. Needless to say, that I did find out that two months after I left she had an affair, in fact several. I was devastated, I could not believe this had happened. I started to blame myself for not being there during the first stage of our marriage. In fact she stated she was sorry and young, lonely etc… With my assignment ending, I came home and I tried to forgive but I could not forget but we did move forward. We had a daughter of our own and, yes he is mine. But about a year after I felt that she was at it again. The cell phone is the corner stone of all affairs. This woman would receive phone calls 24/7 at all hours of the night. If she left the room with the phone on the charger, she would rush back to retrieve it. The feeling that something was not right in my home started when I came home and had a gut feeling that someone had been there during the day. Bottles of empty alcohol, cups in the sink, food disappearing, lights left on, hotel receipts and/or keys and yes this man even took a dump in my bathroom and didn’t flush. I would receive calls from my wife only to check and see if I was at work or not. I found out that this affair she was having was with a neighbors drug dealing son and with several coworkers and ex-coworker. The fool in love I am, we talked and I confessed that with the feelings I was having of her stepping out, I too had seen someone for a couple of months. This revelation seemed to shock her, I guess since I was always at home with the kids while she ran the streets, it took her for a loop. But, we both agreed to give it another try again, and this time we would put faith in our relationship. For sometime it did seem to work, we did things together and we were finding each other as once before. Until, she started smoking weed heavily again, and all the signs came back into play.

To make a long story short, I found out that she was sleeping with her boss, two other married guys (one whose wife called me) and my best friend of nearly 20 years. She put me through hell, I lost everything, my spouse, family, house, military career, post career and friend. To all of which she shows no feelings. I married a stone cold bitch, but, I should have seen the signs. Her nick name use to be “freak of the island”. I was warned by her friends to just hit it and walk away, that is all she is good for. But I thought she was better than that and I wanted to believe she was too. What hurts most is, I seen the signs and knew deep down what she was up to for so long, but, I couldn’t believe it was happening to me. So, to end “You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife”



That story is so sad but all too common. I hope you don't take that out on the next woman you meet.
By the way, where did you meet your ex-wife?
(Please don't say @ the club.)
Also, if you don't do drugs, neither should your spouse unless you are an enabler, don't mind being with someone who is high all the time or desperate.
Personally, I draw the line at that.

[tlglover215]

People say that a woman who is confident and successful is a bitch what do we call a man who also portrays these characteristics?

[darrellcortez]

Sadly, we as black people still have a long, long, long way to go in reference to leading ourselves instead of following... the "B" word ranks directly under the "N" word in which TOO MANY of us try to desensitize, downplay, turn-around the initial meaning and purpose of the words to be used as forms of verbal denigration. We should react towards the "B" word and the "N" word just like we do the "NOOSE.":(